2013 Begins with a Bang
G.D.O'Bradovich III
January 16, 2013
“Are you really gonna blog about this?”, he asked. “Yes, I don’t use real names, but I can make an exception in this case”, I said as we parted company on the parking lot. Of course, I will not be using their names, not to protect the guilty, but to prevent myself from falling into Modernism.
Earlier, while I was at a certain large retailer, chatting up a bird during my transaction when the Taurus and the Aries pop in. They walked by me and we briefly acknowledged one another. I finished talking with Patrica and as I was leaving, I did an about face,and met them in between the pharmacy and the “U-scans” that is dedicated to displaying “stuff”. I don’t believe they sell the “stuff” in this no man’s land, rather they rotate it to give the impression of either newness or some unknown retail concept, but I digress.
The Aries asked me where the condoms are located and I told him in the pharmacy. They said they they were unable to find them, so I turned around and, looked directly at Pat, asked in a loud, but clear voice, ”Pat, where are the condoms?” Pat professionally responded, ”In front of the pharmacy.” I thanked her and could not help but notice the middle aged woman at the self check out looking at this queer scene. I acknowledged the lady earlier when I left Pam, abruptly turned and followed these youths into the aisles and I emerge to inquire about protection-I’m sure the scene was bewildered confusionment (Trade Mark).
The three of us proceed to the front of the pharmacy and I thought this would be a quick purchase. Needless to say, gentle reader, I will not relate the tedium of the pros and cons of price, size, “warming” (per the Taurus this causes ejaculation earlier than necessary), “ice” and “hot” and a veritable host of variables including, but not limited to price, size and the number of condoms to be divided up amongst them, how a futon has been demolished (I presume through the Taurus’s superior thrusting, but I didn't inquire), price, size and how everyone comes to the Taurus’s house where they can be intimate with their girlfriends and last, but not least, price and size.
After price and size was agreed upon, we arrived at the “U-scan” and the adventure continued with Pat. The Aries and Taurus are products of the openness of the Modern Age and are not inhibited to talking to Pat about protection. At this point, Pat must have thought they were a couple and they must have realized this possibility also, as their side of the conversation quickly turned to their respective girlfriends. I think a part of Pat was relieved since she was attempting, albeit unsuccessfully, to determine which of them was the “butch” one. After multiple unsuccessful attempts by the Taurus to force the bills into the machine (I presume this is a foreshadowing), this adventure came to an end as we left the store. In the immortal words of Dave Berry, “I am not making this up.”
Earlier, while I was at a certain large retailer, chatting up a bird during my transaction when the Taurus and the Aries pop in. They walked by me and we briefly acknowledged one another. I finished talking with Patrica and as I was leaving, I did an about face,and met them in between the pharmacy and the “U-scans” that is dedicated to displaying “stuff”. I don’t believe they sell the “stuff” in this no man’s land, rather they rotate it to give the impression of either newness or some unknown retail concept, but I digress.
The Aries asked me where the condoms are located and I told him in the pharmacy. They said they they were unable to find them, so I turned around and, looked directly at Pat, asked in a loud, but clear voice, ”Pat, where are the condoms?” Pat professionally responded, ”In front of the pharmacy.” I thanked her and could not help but notice the middle aged woman at the self check out looking at this queer scene. I acknowledged the lady earlier when I left Pam, abruptly turned and followed these youths into the aisles and I emerge to inquire about protection-I’m sure the scene was bewildered confusionment (Trade Mark).
The three of us proceed to the front of the pharmacy and I thought this would be a quick purchase. Needless to say, gentle reader, I will not relate the tedium of the pros and cons of price, size, “warming” (per the Taurus this causes ejaculation earlier than necessary), “ice” and “hot” and a veritable host of variables including, but not limited to price, size and the number of condoms to be divided up amongst them, how a futon has been demolished (I presume through the Taurus’s superior thrusting, but I didn't inquire), price, size and how everyone comes to the Taurus’s house where they can be intimate with their girlfriends and last, but not least, price and size.
After price and size was agreed upon, we arrived at the “U-scan” and the adventure continued with Pat. The Aries and Taurus are products of the openness of the Modern Age and are not inhibited to talking to Pat about protection. At this point, Pat must have thought they were a couple and they must have realized this possibility also, as their side of the conversation quickly turned to their respective girlfriends. I think a part of Pat was relieved since she was attempting, albeit unsuccessfully, to determine which of them was the “butch” one. After multiple unsuccessful attempts by the Taurus to force the bills into the machine (I presume this is a foreshadowing), this adventure came to an end as we left the store. In the immortal words of Dave Berry, “I am not making this up.”